Sunday August 14

Most of you probably guessed since I had not written on the blog for a week that I probably was not feeling too good.  I can definitely say that I have felt worse the last 2 weeks than I have have before.  Fortunately, the tube feeding is keeping me going and keeping me out of the hospital. 

First of all, my pain is constant 24 hours per day.  I actually increased my dose myself of the Oxycontin extended release.  I am also taking Percocet every 4 hours around the clock.  This keeps my pain to a tolerable level.  It has been very difficult swallowing the pills with water as sometimes they do not want to go down.  However, I have been getting by with small sipes of water. 

I still am not able to eat any food or drink.  It has to be at least 7 weeks now since I have eaten food.  I do attempt something each day just to try to get that started again.  I am tube feeding from 7 pm - 7 am everynight and getting 1500 calories this way.  I need to supplement with some food soon.  My current weight is 158 lbs.  When I started cancer treatment on Jan 7 I weighed 196 lbs (38 lbs lost).

My energy level is the worse it has been.  I have pretty much been in bed napping most of the day away.  I do not like this at all, but some of that is the narcotics.  Simple walks now wear me out.  This will improve after I resume eating and exercising more.

Mentally, I have been a bit depressed.  I just keep thinking that any day, I will be able to eat again and then get my strength back and clear up ulcers and then be able to reduce pain meds and return to  a more normal lifestyle.  Each day it does not happen.  Fortunately, I have Heidi who cheers me up and keeps me company.  I know she is probably tired of being at home all the time, but I have not felt up to going anywhere.  I also have dry heaves about 6-8 times per day.  This is easier at home.  We also have the added stress of not having income at this point.  I am no longer on the books at the City of Kent Fire Department and it will be about 60 days until i get a pension check.  When we do receive the pension check it will not be enough to cover the bills, so this drains the savings accounts.  Hopefully, we will be able to sell the house in timely manner and stop draining the savings.  We had serious lookers at the house this week (2nd showing) but they must have purchased another house they were considering.  We did not get any more feedback. 

Please pray for Heidi to keep her strength, positive attitude and her health!  Please pray specifically for me to be able to eat food, eliminate ulcers and reduce pain levels.  Yesterday, in the mail I received a prayer cloth from a church in Florida.  A group there have been praying for me and sent a prayer cloth!  What a priviledge to be one of God's children!