September 9

I wished I was writing good news with much improvement, but not yet.  My current condition is still have pain that ranges from "5" to "10" on scale of 10 depending on when I took pain medication last.  I have not eaten any food or liquids for 9 weeks.  I also can longer swallow any pills.  They either get stuck and come right back up or come right back up out of my stomach.  This makes fighting the pain more difficult. 

I saw Dr. Cline (Gastro doctor) about a week ago.  I asked if there was anything else we could try to heal up the uclers and get rid of pain.  He said no.  They only thing he said we could think about was putting in a stint that would widen the opening but I told him that was last resort.  I have too much disease to risk a stint tearing that area.

I went back to Dr. Marquinez (Oncologist) on Wednesday.  He started me on Fentanyl patches for pain and also a liquid Oxycontin that I can put into my feeding tube.  Unfortantly, the Fentanyl patches you start at a lower dose and work your way up until you get relief.  The dose we started at is not even touching the pain.  Therefore, I am living on the liquid Oxycontin every 4 hours (usually every 3 hours) to keep pain under control.  I will get a stronger dose patch next week.

I had been vomiting about 10-15 times per day due to pain and mucus.  That has been reduced to about 6-8 times per day right now. 

I am still losing weight and we did increase my tube feeding calories to try to help.  The problem is I have to be connected to the tube feeding for 16.5 hours per day to get the necessary calories.  I now weigh 154 lbs. 

I am sleeping a lot during the daytime.  Since I am up and down all night taking medication, spitting, throwing up, etc. and the narcotics also make you very sleepy.  It is nothing for me to take a 3 hour nap at such time as the pain wakes me up to take another dose. 

I mentioned in last blog that we had an offer coming in on house.  It was not a good offer.  It was $50K less than our asking price.  Obviously, we could not accept this. 

I do have to admit that I have become a bit depressed about things.  It is hard to keep a positive attitude when you don't see any improvement at all.  However, I have been receiving a lot of cards and notes in the mail that have been very encouraging.  I appreciate that. 

Still no pension check yet, so we currently don't have any income.  We expect a pension check by the end of this month.  The bigger delimina is that we won't get our health insurance card until after I get a pension check.  The pension system has to pay the insurance company.  So, even though I have insurance which was effective Sept 1, I have no card or acct number.  I have to pay for everything and then try to get reimbursed.  Heidi just purchased $343.00 worth of medication for me last night.  The tube feeding cost $143 per day and I have to front this money.  We were also told that my new insurance company does not cover tube feeding.  So, not sure where this will lead us. 

Some areas to pray specifically for:
1.  Pray for pain relief with new pain medications
2.  Pray that I may be able to eat and drink soon and get off tube feeding.
3.  Pray that our insurance coverage would get established so we don't have to pay this money.
4.  Pray for Heidi as she is my source of inspiration and comfort.  Pray that she may remain healthy and strong.  Pray that the Lord will continue to use Heidi words to comfort me and help me keep my faith!